Editor:
I voted in your online poll this week regarding high school. I chose the third option, “Miserable,” because it was the most appropriate of the three offered, but in truth it doesn’t capture the entirety of my experience.
As a gawky, unathletic kid from the wrong side of the tracks, I was subjected to my share of taunts and bullying, and that part of the experience was miserable, but I also made some good friends, had some good times, and survived it all with a chip on my shoulder that became a driving force in my life moving forward.
With the advantage of 40 years of life experience and self-awareness, a clearer picture of what really transpired in high school has emerged. First of all, we only a couple of actual bullies out of the nearly 1,000 students in my school. I’m not entirely sure what sort of mental issue drives you to gain self-worth from preying on the weak and “different,” but the fortunate truth is, it’s pretty rare.
The majority of my classmates didn’t care about me one way or the other. That’s somewhat hurtful in itself, but honestly, I was as much to blame for it as anyone. I did nothing to make myself accessible or an easy person to like. A couple of years ago, I was attending a conference in New Hampshire and ran into a classmate I had known since first grade. Although we had been pretty good friends through elementary school, we had grown apart in junior high and I don’t think I said more than two words to her through high school. When we got around to talking about that, it was pretty clear that she thought I was the one who had distanced myself. That was mind-blowing, but as I looked back on things objectively, I could see what she meant.
All that to say the fourth option should have been, “It was a mixed bag … some good and some bad, but it made me who I am today.” And if we are honest with ourselves, I think that’s where most of as fall.
John Marek
Wadesboro