Editor’s note: The author, lawyer Brooke McIntosh Crump, is a working mom in Mt. Gilead.
It’s no secret that I’ve been spread a little thin the past couple of weeks. Work has been busy, we’re remodeling our home, my law firm is moving offices, my 4-year-old is wrapping up his baseball and dance season, my husband is opening a new business, and we have two teenagers in the home that we try to balance keeping a watchful eye on and bond with while trying not to smother them at the same time.
Throughout all of this, one would think that I have no time to myself. However, do you know what I still made time for? I got my nails did, y’all. I got my eyebrows freshened up (ladies, seek out permanent hair removal options – it’s life changing). Every day that I go about my business, I typically have some sort of makeup on and I like to keep up with current fashion trends. I spent part of my weekend freshening up my porch because appearance matters, y’all.
I feel like there are a couple of different perspectives when it comes to moms and their self care. There’s that whole, “I have little ones at home, I haven’t showered in days and am covered in spitup #amirite.” There’s also the trophy wife stigma – that mom who goes above and beyond for the sake of her looks. But what about the rest of us?
Mamas with babies: Take a shower. Even if your kid is sitting in his Bumbo chair screaming his precious head off. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. But at the end of the day, we all have standards for our appearance and we’re kidding ourselves if we act like we don’t. We all know when it’s time to book that appointment with our hair stylist because those roots are showing too much and those split ends are too plentiful. I feel better about myself when I have applied a bit of makeup and have a dress on that’s on trend.
We, as women, and especially as mothers, are expected to give so much of ourselves to others yet are expected to look presentable while doing it. Well, I hate to break it to you world, but our looks don’t come as natural as they once did. If I’m being honest, I’m not sure they ever did for me. The first time I got an eyebrow wax, my life was forever changed. I remember spending hours prepping myself for a night on the town in college and now I certainly don’t have that amount of time to devote to my appearance. But I’m not going to lie to you – I have to dip out for a quick trip to my hairstylist and get a bi-yearly pedicure on a lunch break. I want to look the best I can with the time and resources I have available and I think that if we’re being honest with ourselves, we all do.
To the fellas: That girl you fell in love with at 22, if you want her to halfway resemble the person you were once attracted to she’s going to have to spend some time and cash on her looks, whether it’s a new tube of mascara or a trip to the gym (I keep meaning to add that to my beauty routine).
I’m vain and I’m not afraid to admit it. I love fashion and I like trying out the latest beauty trend. And I think it’s OK to admit that, mamas. Like it or not, the world is going to make assumptions on how we present ourselves and there’s no shame in wanting to look our best.