The author, John Marek, is a writer and CEO of the Anson Economic Development Partnership.
In June 2006, Paramount Parks, where my wife worked as corporate controller, was acquired by Cedar Fair. As part of the buyout, she was given the option of taking a modest severance package or relocating to Cedar Fair’s corporate headquarters in Sandusky, Ohio, ironically just a few miles from the small town on Lake Erie where I grew up.
This was the embodiment of a question I was occasionally asked when we moved to Charlotte in 1995: “Would you ever move back to Ohio?” My answer to that question had always been, “I’ll never say never, but the circumstances under which I would move back are not likely.” The job my wife was offered at Cedar Fair wasn’t especially compelling, and relocating was never a serious consideration. Still, the episode did present fascinating possibilities of what returning to live in or near my hometown would have looked like.
In my mid-forties at the time, I was still operating with a stack of chips on my shoulder, so although I’d like to believe I’d have returned as a respected and benevolent community leader, I’m not sure that’s how it would have worked out. Indeed, my recent experience with folks returning to their hometown after extended years away illustrates how easy it would be to come back as a big jerk.
The term “jerk” is often used to describe someone who behaves rudely, insensitively or selfishly toward others. While there may be a variety of reasons why a person would exhibit such behavior, several factors can contribute to someone becoming a “big jerk.”
One major factor that can lead to someone becoming a jerk is a lack of empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and people who lack empathy may have difficulty understanding how their actions impact others. They may prioritize their needs and desires above those of others, leading them to act in hurtful or disrespectful ways.
Another factor that can contribute to someone becoming a jerk is a sense of entitlement. People who feel entitled may believe they are owed certain privileges or treatment simply because of who they are rather than based on their actions or accomplishments. This can lead to a disregard for the feelings and needs of others, as they may believe that their own desires are more important.
In some cases, past experiences can also play a role in shaping someone’s behavior. If someone has grown up in an environment where they were not taught to value kindness and respect toward others, they may be more likely to exhibit behaviors that are perceived as “jerkish.”
Finally, it is worth noting that certain personality traits can also contribute to someone becoming a jerk. For example, people who score high on measures of narcissism or psychopathy may be more likely to exhibit behaviors that are self-centered or manipulative. Similarly, people who tend toward impulsivity or aggression may be more likely to act out in ways that are hurtful toward others.
While many factors can contribute to someone becoming a “big jerk,” it is worth noting that this behavior is not inevitable or immutable. With the proper support, guidance and personal reflection, people can change their behavior and become more empathetic, respectful and kind toward others.
One potential approach to changing jerkish behavior is to focus on developing empathy. This may involve practicing active listening skills, putting oneself in the shoes of others and working to understand how one’s actions impact those around them. By developing a greater sense of empathy, people may be more likely to prioritize the feelings and needs of others and less likely to act in hurtful or disrespectful ways.
Another approach to changing jerkish behavior is addressing underlying issues or past experiences that may be contributing to the behavior. This may involve seeking therapy or counseling to work through past traumas or negative experiences and developing healthier coping mechanisms for managing difficult emotions or situations.
Becoming a “big jerk” is not an inherent trait or destiny. While many factors can contribute to this behavior, people can change and grow, developing a greater sense of empathy and respect for others. By focusing on personal growth and development and seeking out support when needed, anyone can work to become a better, kinder and more compassionate person.